November 16, 2007

**Day 1 of the new type of blog. Look below to the entry titled "November 15" for a full explanation of why it looks like this.**

***Over the last few days I posted blog entries for Oct 31, Nov 1, Nov 2 if you wish to "backtrack" and catch up with me a bit.***

Week 1: (OK, so we all know this isn't actually week one. However, I'm going to "reset" the time calendar for practical reasons. I didn't do measurements way back when I started. This is the only way I can think of to organize measurements. I'll only post measurements on Fridays. Hopefully, that will let me see some improvement - somewhere.)
Bust: 51 in. Waist: 48 in. Hips: 53 in. Upper arm: 16 in. Thigh: 26.5 in.

Weight: 246 Lost? 12 Left to go? 88
(I'm sticking with my original start weight of 258. I'm afraid I'll be too disheartened if I start that over too. I honestly haven't touched a scale in over 2 weeks. I'm glad I haven't degenerated as much as I feared. Whew! Apparently the cards/hormones/stars decided to play nicer with me than I thought. I'll be posting weight every single day.)


After many mental Olympics, I decided that after the day is done and I sit here to assault you with my random thoughts...I should make the blog user friendly. So, I'll add what I eat as I eat it, then inject my ramblings between the stats and the facts-of-the-day. Face it, I'm a woman - its my genetic prerogative to change my mind. I embrace my x chromosomes with glee!


I am also learning to embrace myself with glee these days. (And no, I do not mean that with any sort of sordid undertones!) I'm learning to find the things that I enjoy and dive at them with gusto. I like writing. I like to find the ridiculous in life. I like to tell people my opinions. I like (for the most part) people. I'm having a whopping good time "meeting" new people, "chatting" with all of you, and musing about this insane journey we collectively call Life. Its all rather interesting.


I'm also learning to stick to my convictions, stick my neck out when I need to, stick up for groups that I feel kinship with, and on occasion...stick my tongue out at an offending driver who appears to be begging for comment. I'm finding that "sticking" is rather good for the soul. (Again, please refrain from swimming in the gutter!) Damn shame I can't figure out the secret recipe for "sticking" to a diet. That's one pot of glue that continually eludes my grasp.


Recently, I've found myself in every situation I described above. I've stuck to my convictions about how people should treat each other, I've stuck my neck out by arguing with a brain surgeon who outranks me by at least 10 or 12 rungs on the evolutionary ladder, and I've shown my roundy, pink opinionater to several crass drivers. Today, I had the wonderful opportunity to stick up for a lovely local organization that our family has benefitted from. Today, I had a brief opportunity to stick a lovely thought in some strangers' heads....I can only hope it'll stay there.


Adventures for Wish Kids is a local charity that provides fun activities for families of children with life-threatening illnesses. They include all siblings, not just the ill child. Families are treated to outings at local gaming centers, to a local amusement park, to professional soccer games, a Christmas party, a Halloween party, sometimes shows, and basically, any opportunity the organization can dream up and make happen. Events are always free - and often closed to the public - providing these special kids with a sanctum of acceptance and freedom to just be...
Adventures gives our medical children the chance to be children, and our families the rare opportunity to forget the medical stuff that make us different - and allow us to only be parents having fun with the kids they love more than life.


Like I said, this afternoon, I got a chance to stick some nice thoughts out there. My kids and I were interviewed for a radiothon that will benefit Adventures for Wish Kids. Perhaps "interviewed" isn't quite the exact definition. A more accurate assesment would be that I invaded a local radio station with 4 children in tow. While the four year old medical child and her 6 yo sister attempted to answer some questions, my 13 yo daughter "baby wrangled" her 13 mo brother who was bent on the absolute destruction of the beautiful offices they'd so erroneously invited us into. That poor DJ, his heart is planted firmly in the correct place. His common sense, however,...may have unknowingly taken a bus to Bermuda.


I give Andrew (the beseiged DJ) grand amounts of credit. Not only did he calmly and patiently stand on his head to draw some form of useful information out of my daughter, he never batted an eye at her ramblings or her less-than-articulate descriptions. I love Avalon up to the moon (and back...as Big Brown Nutbrown hare says), but my dearest darling daughter can't speak worth a fig. She doesn't say any "S", "F", "Sh", or "Ch" sounds. We've discovered in speech therapy, she's quite capable of making those sounds....just not particularly interested. Considering we often have difficulty discerning her meaning - Andrew's efforts were nothing short of sainted. That dear, sweet man recorded more than 40 minutes of Avalon babble - to attempt to distill out a 30 second commercial. My heart and sympathies are with him. I hope he has access to some Margarita fixin's. Come to think of it, a bit of hooch might help clarify things!

As for myself? Oh, in my typical quiet and reserved manner (quit laughing...it could have been true!) - I also offered opinions of AFWK. Its not difficult. I LOVE THEM! Who wouldn't? I don't think I could line up enough chances to sing their praises. The Adventures staff works to give kids back a tiny piece of what illness has stolen from them. And I don't mean just the medical kids. All children in a medical family are affected. All of our kids have surrendered things both tangible and not. They have patiently and lovingly allowed their sister the freedom to dominate our attention at times, and I will never be able to repay their gentle souls for that. I'm grateful beyond words to any organization that lifts their burden...even if only for a few hours.


As we rolled our way home, over-stuffed with restaurant fare and giddy with our sugar highs, I had time to contemplate our brush with "stardom". I realized I was proud of more than how the girls handled the interviews. I was proud of their hearts.


I was humbled by my oldest daughter who effortlessly gave up her chance to be "on air", so she could safeguard her brother. A kind AFWK volunteer offered to hold the baby - not minding his squirming and squawking. But my sweet teen wouldn't let him out of her sight - she couldn't stand the thought of him being scared or sad. As she has so many times before, she surrendered her interests, for the greater good. She kept her baby brother happy, and she allowed us to speak in peace.


I was impressed by my 6 yo daughter who sat so patiently, waiting her turn to say a few sentences into the mike. She spoke clearly and carefully, trying to sound as "grown up" as she could muster. She never interrupted, she never argued, she even gently coached her little sissy, when sissy's memory failed her - as it often does. She continued the roll she was forced to take, but has accepted with a Grace far beyond her years. She acted as her sister's guardian, supporter, and greatest cheerleader - all while quietly waiting her own turn for attention. She was a sister of extraordinary character today.


I was amused by youngest daughter, my medical child. She was cautious and quiet at first. She faced the challenge of the interview in much the same way she's met her medical hurdles. She refused to let it conquer her. She began the interview answering each question with a small "Yet" (yes - in Avalon-speak), polite and obedient to what we had requested of her. She finished the dialogue with joy and finesse, making it fully her own. That's how she's often handled a medical situation. She'll agree to the procedure without complaint. Over time, she will develop her own view of the situation - and choose her own interpretation of events. She makes her life her own - and I'm consistently amused to find how wise she is. She was her typical self today - honest and pure.


I was a very proud mom today. It would seem that some of what I've said through the years may have "stuck" afterall. Better yet, it was overwhelming obvious that my kids stick together - with a bond that no force can hope to weaken. They fight, they argue, they swipe toys from one another and threaten any number of dubious consequences on each others' heads. But, when it counts, they stick together like peas in a pod.


I think its the best kind of sticking I'll ever do. Hope they have enough of that stuff for me to hang on too...


I hope you'll stick with me, as I try to fight may way through this battle of the bulge and Beast. I appreciate you!


Alicia Hall, losing weight, and my mind, to raise awareness of pediatric cancer and the children it changes.

www.crazycancermom.com You can always email me! alicia@crazycancermom.com












Breakfast: (new type of blogging - I'll be adding what I eat as the day goes along. Its my attempt to force myself into accountability.)
6 Bob Evans maple sausage links, 2 cups coffee w/ 2 TBS creamer each.


Lunch: Salad: Iceburg lettuce, 1/2 C shredded Cheddar cheese (200 cal), 1/4 C honey-turkey, 1 TBS thousand island dressing, 2 TBS croutons - 1 Diet Coke

Dinner: Well, I went a bit south this evening. We went to Max & Erma's - a local casual dining restaurant. We had a gift card, I was too pooped to cook, its a really bad combo. I had 1 breadstick, a Rueben sandwich, a small baked potato (I'm talking puny potato, smaller than the palm of my hand) and a small sundae for dessert. Water to drink