Day 2 - No Buckeyes!

Holy Sabotage, Batman....are you serious?!

OK, so something snapped in me on Sept 13. Something about recent bad news for Avalon, recent bad news for the children of dear friends, and National Childhood Cancer Awareness Day all coalesced in my tiny noggin and created a ginormous boot to kick my butt into action. For once, I didn't think, I just did. Sounds great, right? Sure, unless you're the boob who just jumped off the cliff...

Now don't get your panties in a twist. I'm not giving up on day two or anything. In fact, I have no intentions of giving up at all this time. But holy bageezees, Batman...did I have to face sabotage on the very first day?!! Sure, sure I did. Why? Because dorky old me forgot about '
Mom's Night Out', that's why. MNO is put on by a local charity for families of pediatric cancer. One of their programs is to have a monthly meeting where local moms come together to chat, eat, kvetch, eat, laugh, and...eat. Actually, come to think of it, food happens to be a central theme in lots of the mom events. Hmmm...I may have to consider sacrificing my mental state for my diet fate. Then again, dag-nabbit, there are skinny moms who attend this stuff. How come I can't be one of theeemmmmm? (said in my best whiny 6 yo voice) Aww bat crap.

But I digress.... (BTW, if you're new to my writing, you might just want to get 'used to' the whole digression thing.) To honor the collective worship of the entire city of Columbus, OH, the theme of this month's dinner was a Buckeye tailgate party. Not realizing I would soon be signing my life away, I ever-so-innocently signed up to bring Scarlet and Gray popcorn and da da da dummmm...buckeyes. Any locals just instantly understood the gravity of the situation. For those of you not 'of Buckeyedom', let me fill you in. Our city is bonzo for Ohio State football. We cheer wildly for the Ohio State Buckeyes. Yeah, we all worship a nut. It's a nut with arms, legs, and a face...but it's still a nut. Better yet, eons ago some genius came up with a candy to honor that nut. 'Buckeyes' (in candy form) are peanutbutter/confectioner sugar/wonderment that are dipped in chocolate, leaving a small spot with the peanutbutter peeking through...so they look like the actual nuts that fall off the trees. A good candy buckeye (or 3) gives debauchery a run for its money. I mean seriously, the older you get, the more kids that can interrupt...Buckeyes begin to take the lead... Just sayin'

So, here it was, my first night on my VERY public diet, and I had signed up to bring popcorn and buckeyes. Oh, and Scarlet and Gray popcorn is actually scarlet and gray (OSU colors). It's candy coated and perhaps the most amazing popcorn you will ever place in your face. When I realized I had to go buy this stuff...I could nearly smell the failure in the air... But, I had promised, so off I went.

The good news is, our local grocery had sold out of S & G popcorn, so I had to wait to shop until I was on the way to dinner. After an appt downtown, I popped into a store on the way to MNO. What luck! They were sold out of popcorn! OK, let's be honest. I should have danced. Really, that would have been the appropriate response. But the fact is, I sulked. I am such a flippin' nut job - I was utterly bummed they didn't have a sweet treat that I couldn't eat. I've...lost....my....mind.

After settling for scarlet and gray cookies and finding some buckeyes, I headed off to meet up with my moms. As I drove there, contemplating the insanity of the situation, reality began to set in. I started to realize how little I'd thought through the whole I'll-start-the-diet-TODAY thing. Why? Oh I don't know...things like my birthday is next week. Or, how about we're going to the Rennaisance festival this weekend? How about our free weekend (food included!) at Kalahari Resort in 10 days?! Then....then....there's Halloween on the horizon...then....Thanksgiving... Aaaaaghhhhhh!!!!!

Breathe in...breathe out. Breathe in....breathe out. Ohhhhmmmmm.......

About the time my hair began vaulting from my scalp, I pulled into the parking lot. I stomped my way into our gathering room, fussing loudly about my lack of popcorn, while fuming quietly about all the stuff I wasn't going to get to eat in the coming months. Grumble, grumble, fuss, fuss.... Grrrr....

First, I was hugged by my friend whose son had brain tumors as an infant. We were in the hospital at the same time a few years ago; Avalon recovering from her catastrophic surgery, Will recovering from his stroke - a late effect of the radiation that saved his life 15 yrs before. I was hugged by another friend who has heard the awful words we all dread, and yet she smiled and hugged me. Oh, then there is the bouncy, smiling, hysterical mother who only has pictures and memories of an infancy spent in the hospital, empty arms but a joyful heart. As I hugged each of my friends, all of them part of this awful family of cancer parents...the buckeyes became so much less important.

I ate salad, a bean picante with a few tortilla chips, and a Diet Coke. No KFC, no cookies, NO BUCKEYES.

Hey Batman, think you're up to helping me kick some cancermom flab? I think our kids deserve it.