Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Fat-A-Thon Day 1~Sept 15, 2010

Day 1 - I'm probably certifiable

What in the holy crap have I gone and done?! I've lost my mind, that's what. I've publicly pledged to restart something I've failed at before. Oh sure...that inspires confidence...

OK, so here's the thing. This whole lose-weight-to-raise-awareness thing has been taking up space in my pea-brain for far too long. I'm sick of it keeping me up at night. I'm dad-blasted tired of it claiming so much mental real estate that I forget things like my own phone number. It's time to drag the insanity out of the dark recesses and plop it squarely in the light. Hopefully, I'll reclaim a smidgeon of my sanity in the process...

You see, years ago I had a friend who likened her aging brain to a rolodex. You spend a lifetime accumulating knowledge of all manner and sort. You gather things like historical facts, emotional thoughts, and the useless data that we require to function in polite society. Well...our brains are like a rolodex. Eventually, they run plum out of space. When that happens, something gets kicked to the curb. For example, I can still recall my best friend's phone number from elementary school, but I utterly, totally forgot my son's 3rd birthday last year, until someone else mentioned it. I firmly believe my rolodex is overstuffed and cards are flying out at speeds sufficient enough to decapitate small dogs. I've decided it's best to voluntarily remove a few things, before our neighbor's Yorkie takes a hit. Hence, I've moved the Fat-A-Thon idea back 'out' - to free up several zillion kilabites of internal memory. I can virtually hear the synapses breathing a sigh of relief... (Indulge me on this, let me live in the delusion that I'm soon to be as organized as I will be svelte and gorgeous...and stop laughing)

So here we go again. You, me, a bunch of strangers, and the internet...all about to start a wondrous journey together. We're going to sweat together, laugh together, and please-oh-please lose some fat blobules together. (it's a word - deal with it!) I've proven in the past that I know how to lose weight. Really, I have. However, I've also proven that I'm a weak-minded simpleton who hears talking bagels and singing chocolate. Knowing what to do and doing it happen to be vastly different beasties. Your part in this nut brigade is to keep me honest. Cheer for me when I tell the bagels to be quiet, and yell at me when their siren song lures me in.

But most of all, your job is to laugh. That's right...laugh. Folks, this world is full of far too much seriousness. Ask any of us cancer parents. Holy crap, we've got enough serious to fill the grand canyon several gagillion times over. (and yes...I maintain that is yet another 'real' word!) Cancer parents have death, pain, torture, and helplessness in their realities. More than most people we need to laugh to survive! So join me in honoring my fellow cancer moms. As I gripe/moan/kvetch-like-it's-my-job....laugh with me as I attempt to battle my butt. I do this for all of us who have eaten our stress, and for all of our children who have unwittingly been drop-kicked into the world of cancer. If you can embrace the utter INSANITY that is the Fat-A-Thon...then maybe you can relearn to appreciate the wonders of the life you live.

After all, you're not posting pictures of your rear-end on the internet. I am. That alone should make your day....

3 comments:

Mindy V. said...

I wonder if you can shut up the bagels by stuffing them with the chocolate, hmmmm.

Naomi Fehr said...

You can do it girl!!! I'm with ya on that one!

Michelle LeWinter said...

Thanks for helping put a reality check on my crappy day. You are so right about the important things and you always make me laugh. I'm along for the ride. Heck, you might even inspire me to lose weight as well.