Several random thoughts...40 year old brain...don't expect great literature this evening.
First, my arse hurts. The back of my front, my built-in seat cushion, my truckin' tuckus...my arse...is killing me! Why you may ask? (and don't even go all 20-something porno on me) Because I bent to the winds and caved to the masses. I did conventional exercise today. ...And the day came, and it was done.... And it sucketh.
I may never, truly survive if I have to regularly partake in this insanity. Who, just who in the flippin' Hill of Sam decided that purposeful over-exertion of your gluteus maximus is a joyful event?!! My roundy nether region is powerful sore...and it sucketh!
No, no - I didn't go do one of those you-have-lost-your-marbles super-human lifting weight thingies. I simply walked. Two miles. Wearing a 20+ lb baby in a backpack, while pushing a wiggly 4 yo in an old loaner-model-until-we-get-the-good-one wheelchair. Two miles. Up hills, down hills, over bumps, around skinny, cute, pity-faced-because-my-daughter-is-in-a-"chariot" twits. Two miles. ...And it sucketh.
Worse...and I do mean WORSE of all...I'm not going to lose one god-forsaken ounce!! Why? WHY, you ask? Because I'm a weak-willed simpleton (yeah - don't remind me about yesterday's rant) who cannot control herself in the face of certain temptations. Did I slather myself in double dark chocolate fudge and drown my sorrows in it? No. Did I barricade myself behind a wall of bagels and eat my way out? No. Did I vacuum suck three dozen bags of Hershey products while simultaneously funding the latest Godiva retail venture? NO! (and dang it - now I want to, since I brought it up)
Oh no, nothing that tasty. I've fallen prey to what I thought was a good, healthy chip-alternative for the kids. Peanuts. Damn you Mr. Peanut!! How dare you be so luscious and dreamy... How dare you wink at me from behind those suggestive glasses. How dare you draw me in with your suggestive top hat and cane...beckoning me with elusive dreams of fancy formal occasions. Fie! Fie on you, you tempter of weak-minded dieters!
Brass tacks, I'm allergic to peanuts. While, thankfully, they don't constrict my airways (like sunflower seeds do), they do whole-heartedly hate my person. One spoon of peanut butter is enough to make my cheeks (facial cheeks) bright, flaming red and swollen. Peanut anything raises my blood pressure, and completely destroys anything resembling a metabolism for days. I could eat 12 peanuts a day for a week (nothing but the peanuts) and gain 15 pounds. I'm telling you honest - peanuts and my innards should NEVER meet.
And yet, I purchased them on the fateful shopping trip we discussed yesterday. I figured I could easily avoid them - they hate me. As with so many things the past month...I was wrong. WRONG, wrong, wrong, wrong. Oh no, I have not just not avoided them...I've scarfed them. LOTS of them. Today? Oh...conservatively 1 & 1/2 Cups or more. Oink, oink, oink.....
What demonic, black-hearted force has overtaken my common sense? I KNOW the stupid things are out to get me...and yet, I ate them. My face currently feels like a blast furnace, and my derriere/legs/back feel like the back end of a racehorse after the Kentucky Derby. I could have enjoyed the loss of some fatitude today. (the rest of my day was perfectly acceptable) Instead, I will have eaten little, exercised much, and still likely GAIN WEIGHT. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
OK, a primeval scream (or 6) can actually help your mental state. Whew. I suppose I will have to chalk today up to yet another learning experience. Gack. You'd think by my current ripe, old, age - I'd have learned enough by now. Apparently, there is no age limit on stupidity by consumption. Fabulous...I wonder what else is lurking out there, waiting for its chance to take me down...
As for my random thoughts - here are a few of them. Its October 4th, and I'm so OVER breast cancer awareness month - I COULD SCREAM. Please, please - don't get me wrong. As a woman, I am THRILLED that Breast Cancer Awareness Month has become part of our national conscience. I can remember the days of the "whisper". "Did you hear? Mrs. Smith has breast cancer." (all said very hush-hush, and "breast" was barely audible) I'm tickled "pink" that this awful disease has reached a level of acceptance and support that has afforded it the ability to move forward in treatment and survivorship by enormous leaps and bounds. I buy my share of awareness products, vote for awareness issues, and weep for the pain endured by friends in the fight. I GET it. But, WHY does no one "get" our kids?
"30 days hath September..." says the poem. No days, had cancer kids...say I. Why didn't one national talk show focus on our kids? Why did CNN cancel its one 3 minute report on Childhood Cancer Awareness Month? WHY?!!!
Breast cancer is heavily funded by the government - because it affects millions of women. Drug companies trip over themselves to fund research, because they have millions of potential customers and payoffs. Both groups ignore our kids - because there aren't enough of them to "count". The parents of 12,500 children each year, would beg to differ with that.
Enough soapboxing, time for my requests. Please, please, please, consider "helping" our kids. If you think this blog is funny - send it on. Send it to Ellen, Rachel Ray, Oprah, Good Morning America, The Today Show, etc. If I make them laugh...maybe they'll listen! Send it to your friends, your enemies, your family (whichever category they fall in) Maybe they will know the right people to send it to. A few clicks, and one of us may make the difference of a lifetime. Those of us in this horrible fight, are frustrated and desperate. We feel like we're banging our heads against 1000 foot walls, and only denting our heads, not the establishment. If you have any brilliant ideas, amazing contacts, or magic wands of attention - please share! I'm game for anything - as long as I can talk about "my" kids. I believe in the beauty of these special kids - I just want the chance to show everyone else.
OK, apparently, soapboxing is rather equivalent to primeval screaming. It can be quite good for the soul! Forgive my rants - and understand the LOVE they are screamed with. I will literally do anything to thank the people who gave me back my daughter. Its a gift that can never be repaid.
Hugs to ALL of you!! This blog, your eyeballs dragging across it...are keeping me sane and in the "fighting" mood. You rock my world!!!
Alicia - the Crazy Cancer Mom - losing weight, and my mind, for cancer kids. http://www.crazycancermom.com/
I love to hear from you! Please feel free to post comments on the blogs - or email me at alicia@crazycancermom.com
Breakfast: one egg, 1/8 C cheddar cheese, 1/4 C mushrooms, 1/4 C onions, 1/2 TBS real bacon bits, 1 C coffee/creamer
Lunch: ditto - I'd made 2 eggs for brkfst - but only ate half then, peanuts, 1 C coffee/creamer
Dinner: peanuts, taco meat, lettuce, cheddar cheese, sour cream, onions, diet Coke, peanuts,
4 glasses water, walked 2 miles!
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1 comment:
I admire your strength to go on a walk, carrying/pushing BOTH kids. That's a tremendous amount of weight!! Heck, I have a hard time when I take my dog for a walk, and she is PULLING me! That, and the first time "pain" when you start doing this, makes you never want to do it again. But it does get easier; maybe not enjoyable, but easier. Hoping for a quick peanut recovery!! Enjoy the weekend.
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