October 3, 2007

I've been grocery shopping...and it was a spiritual event.

I want to share with all of you. I had a great epiphany at the grocery store. It's cheaper to be fat.

You know, its a sad thing. We over sized people are never (OK, rarely) portrayed well in the media. On TV shows, we're usually the slothen, hill-jack, never-worked-an-honest-day schmucko who gets bumped off in the first 5 minutes. Or, we get to be the welfare neighbor with 12 kids and bad style. Often, we get to be the mistreated, under-appreciated assistant/secretary/housekeeper who rats out our thin, rich employers to the detective flavor-of-the-hour. Pick your substandard, subservient position...Hollywood whooptie-hoos will generally send anyone with any flabiliciousness straight to that door.

In real life, we don't all fit that particular casting couch...but there are some similarities of note. You just don't normally see well-padded women traipsing around golf courses or country clubs. I've been doing my fair share of elbow-rubbing with the higher-salary set as I speak to raise money for our hospital. I've noticed that I'm usually the "best fed" in the room. Worse, I always feel like my lower income bracket is somehow tattooed across my ample hindquarters.

Why is that? Do higher tax brackets mean higher commitments to healthy lifestyles? Do more zeros in your salary mean more will power in the kitchen? Do larger homes mean more room to store smaller clothes? Horse hockey! Money may be the deciding factor...but its not about will power or commitment. Its about the almighty dollar.

Its dad-blasted pricey to be healthy! I mean it. I'm not talking nickel and dime more pricey...I'm talking double-the-grocery-bill who-needs-lights kind of pricey. Pasta, white bread (whole grain stuff might as well be made of dollar bills), potatoes, rice...are cheap. I can get a package of spaghetti big enough to feed a third world country for dinner - for 5 bucks. OR, I can get three bell peppers to cut up for my morning eggs and maybe evening dinner - for 6 bucks. Even if math isn't your forte...that just doesn't add up. Two loaves of white bread, 1 giant jar of strawberry jam, a double pack of peanut butter...and I have lunch for 4 kids for 7 days - cost = $11.00. Or, I can pay $6.99/pound for 3 pounds of deli turkey, $3.29/ea for 2 loaves of whole grain bread, $5.99/lb for 2 lbs cheese and get 1 week's lunches for approx $40.00. Get friggin' real!

And if you pay attention to my lunch menu - my kids were only getting sandwiches. If I decide to be kind, I can flush out those meals with fresh fruits and veggies...or chips. Would you like to take a flying fart guess at which option is cheaper? Its insane! The deck is stacked against us!

As I fought my way through the local warehouse store, pushing a cart that weighed more than Babar, arguing tooth and nail with two chip-crazed daughters and one carb-crazed tween, all while being pummeled with a pillow attached to the baby's "buggy buddy"....I had a life-changing epiphany. I'm not gluttonous, weak, or simple-minded... (OK, the last one is arguable on some days...but that's for another discussion) I'm merely POOR. The epidemic of obesity in our country isn't caused by television, evil processed food companies, or infiltration of our commerce by terrorism-minded grocers. We're fat because its darned cheaper to be!

Millie St. Rich isn't better at comprehending the carbohydrate/fat/serving size information on food labels. Millie is simply better at figuring out how to pay for that luxurious thing we call "healthy food choices". Low-fat, low-carb, whole-food, organic items aren't merely a mouthful to say, they're a wallet-full to fund. It creates a rather interesting hypothesis. Would we be so overweight, if the "good" stuff was cheaper than the bad? If consumerism forced the choice barometer to swing fresh, whole, healthy...would the illicit foods of the world suddenly move to the price bracket best afforded by affluence?

In days past, that's exactly what happened. Ruben painted round women, because they were the "picture" of health and abundance in his day. Women of bodily substance had to be women of wealth - they were the only ones able to afford empty calorie food and avoid calorie-burning exercise. Now, high calorie foods are abundant and more affordable than their healthy counterparts. Worse, the people who can only afford the cheap, available, unhealthy fair...are often so overworked trying to make ends meet - they can't "afford" the time to squeeze in the kind of calorie-burning activities their bodies need. Talk about your conundrum...

Do I have a grandiose scheme to reverse the socio-economic Fat Trap? Would that I did. (old English - not a typo...I paid attention in Jr. English!) Alas and Alack (OK, just being a smarty pants here...), I have no earthly idea how to bring about an all-stop and 180 reversal. All I do know, is that somehow - my little epiphany removed some of my personal guilt. Am I right to let it go? Hmmm, perhaps that's not mine to determine. If I get a vote, I say, "Yes!" I didn't create the pricing structures...I merely fell prey to their ease of my financial woes. Did those cheaper prices dictate that I eat waaayyyyyy more than the suggested serving size, eat late at night, never attempt any exercise, or never meet at cookie I didn't like? Ummmm, no. So, while I can muse over the reversal of fortunes...I cannot hold that interesting fact culpable for my own tuckus.

Where did all of this ephinanizing leave me? Dirt damn poor, with a cart full of healthy crap, and four convinced-their-mother-is-a-no-fun-toad children.

Oh well, maybe if I buy something sugary and awful...I can hold it up like bait and get them to chase me for exercise....

Hope I gave you some "food" for thought. ;-)

- Alicia - losing weight, and my mind, for cancer kids. http://www.crazycancermom.com/

Breakfast: 1 C coffee w/creamer, 7 macademia nuts (we were running out the door)

Lunch: 1 C coffee w/creamer, 1 Diet Pepsi, 2 crunchy Kashi pumpkin granola bars (1 pkg)

Dinner: diet coke, fake crabmeat - dipped in butter with lots of garlic! - 1/2 C peanuts (ack I'll pay for that) 8 macademia nuts - yeah yeah, too many calories for dinner, exactly why being gone all day and getting super hungry is stupid...