October 28, 2007

Today, Avalon, my cancer child, had the honor and privilage of being invited to be a part of a fashion show to raise money for pediatric cancer. The show was the Black Tie Blue Jacket Fashion Show at Saks Fifth Avenue, here in Columbus. The event raised money for the Columbus Blue Jackets Foundation and their work with Hats for Heroes. We've known about the fashion show for months, the tickets to last night's game for only a few weeks. So while it was fun, we really didn't plan this weekend's Blue Jacket-a-palooza ahead of time.





Tonight's fashion show featured Blue Jacket players, their wives/girlfriends, and local "heroes" - children affected by cancer. Some of the children were on active treatment, some were off-treatment like Avalon, and one was the sister of a small boy who lost his battle. The children were matched with a player/girl combo. Each child walked down the runway twice, with two different player/girl teams. The players and their wives/girlfriends changed outfits before the second "walk", but the children remained in the same outfit.





The entire event tried to make the kids feel as special as possible. The children were allowed to pick their fantasy outfits the week before the event. I don't know how that translated for the boys, but I'm here to report that my little princess thoroughly enjoyed her fashionista session. She tried on several I-couldn't-afford-them-in-a-million-years dresses, and checked their "twirl" factor to the delight of the Saks' staff. In the end, she settled on a delightful ivory dress with a lace bodice, poofy tulle skirt, and full length black velvet jacket that was trimmed with lace and pearls. Honestly, it was exquisite. I'm sure it will look lovely on a little girl somewhere in Columbus.... Since I would have had to sign the check for it, it had no hope of meeting the lesser dresses that currently reside in her closet.





The day of the show, the children reported to the store a few hours before the show, for their hair appointments, make-up sessions, and professional photos. By the time we got there with Avalon, the organizational elements had fallen apart a bit, and much to my dismay, she never got to pose for a professional portrait with "her man". However, the photographer soothed my wounded heart better than I could have hoped - with the spectacular photo I shared above. No picture ever said it better...one big hockey player - holding the hand and heart of one little girl.... I love it.





Avalon did get to pose for some special pics with a different heartthrob, a charming young man, Joe. Although Joe is 20, he recently finished treatment at Children's. Joe's bone cancer is a pediatric cancer, so people diagnosed with it, are preferentially treated at Children's. Given that Joe had just graduated from high school when he was diagnosed - it really was the best place for him. While I loathe the beast that brought us together, he and his warm family are examples of the reasons I tell people I'm not all sorry for this new life. Joe is the epitome of what we want our sons to grow to be. He's gentle, caring, thoughtful and funny. He refused to let the beast beat him down, even as it robbed him of a leg. After all, in Joe's own words..."Its only a leg." How many "adults" would be mature enough to look at it from that perspective? Joe is one in a million.




Prior to the pictures, our fashion model had her session with the stylists. While the hairdressers were kind, they weren't terribly prepared for the special needs of a child whose hair is thin, and radically different lengths. Prior to her brain surgery, Avalon had 10 quarter-sized sections of hair shaved out. When you add all that was shaved for the shunt incisions, she lost probably a third of the hair she'd worked so hard to grow back (post chemo). This was more traumatic for her than we had anticipated - so we've spent the past 10 months working diligently to "cover" her "shortcomings". Now that her auto-immune issues are causing her hair to fall out, she's even more sensitive about how it looks. Unfortunately, high-end hairdressers, in adult salons, aren't necessarily used to dealing with her unique issues.





When all was said and done, Avalon's hair was partially curled, held up by two bobby pins, decorated with a pearl bow that I'd brought from home, and sprayed stiff as concrete. Ten minutes and 10 photographs with Joe later, it completely fell apart. Thank goodness, she's not my first girl, and I've been playing hide-the-holes for nearly a year. I managed to fake it all back together pretty well. Oh the joys of public events with special kids!





After pictures, we only had to wait a few minutes before we lined up for the show. Avalon's first hockey player was her beloved Dan, and his girlfriend, Kim. Poor Kim, she came into this event as the"other woman". When we broached the subject of Avalon walking with Dan and his girlfriend...Avalon was horrified! "What do you mean?! I'm Danny's girlfriend!!" It took some quick talking to convince her that Kim was the "big girl" girlfriend, and Avalon was his special "little-girl" friend. She wasn't happy - but she gave up griping. I was more than a bit worried about what my opinionated little stalker might come out with...but she surprised me.





I had forgotten to allow for the "wow" factor. As with her much-swooned-over clinic-love, Ryan, Avalon often loses her voice around Dan - at least for a while. During her quiet worship time, Kim marched right in, and stole her own piece of Avalon's heart. Honestly, Avalon had no choice, Kim was every bit as kind and charming as Dan. Avalon liked her enough to share - we were good to go. I'm such a mush, I was weepy. Its a rare blessing to have a stranger shower your child with such kindness. To have it times two...ack, I was a puddle.




The first walk went well. When I left Avalon back stage, she was happily holding Dan and Kim's hands - and chatting their ears off. When she hit the stage, she grinned, waved, and posed at the end of the runway just as in practice. Dan helped her take her fancy overcoat off, and then she twirled like a pro - complete with hands on hips at the end. She and her sissies had been watching America's Next Top Model for weeks and practicing their techniques. She would have made Tyra quite proud.





Backstage again, Avalon had to say goodbye to Dan and Kim as they ran to change into their second outfits. We spent our down time chatting with Joe and marveling at his "bionic" leg that so fascinates one of the other young heroes. You have to love cancer kids - nothing freaks them out. They look at Avalon's "chariot" and don't even see it. They know that Joe normally uses crutches, so they can't wait to check out his new leg. They've all been bald, so the baldies among them don't raise a single eyebrow with the kids that have grown them back. Its an odd fraternity, but, in a strange way, quite a life-affirming one.





Soon enough, the players and girls came wandering back. That's where the fun really started. I have to say, I really still know squat about hockey. I know the 4 or 5 players we've met several times, but I don't know the new guys, their specialties, their bios. Its nearly impossible to make me "starstruck" about anyone on the planet - so these dear hockey players have no chance at making me impressed enough to behave. They pretty much get me as myself. This, sometimes, can make me slightly irreverant, at best.





It happened that Joe, the ultimate hockey fan, was behind Avalon in the line-up. He proceeded to "enlighten" me as to who was who in the expensive duds in front of us. I heard about "draft pick", "really fast on the ice", "great catch", blah blah blah. Now I love Joe, but he could have been speaking Greek or Finnish for all I understood. I will say I was honest, I admitted to my failure-to-understand and bigger failure-to-be-impressed. About that time, one of the players set off the store alarms again. The runway and stage were set up exterior to one of the mall-side entrances of the store. The models actually "left" the store to enter the stage. Not a problem, except the clerks forgot to remove some of the security devices from the expensive items. I think 4 or 5 alarms were set off before the first walk. I'm sure the dressers tried their best, but again - a player was setting off the alarm. Mind you - it wasn't easy to figure out who. As the players milled around, the stupid alarm would go off and on - leaving everybody searching themselves. When nobody could find it, we all gave up.





About that time, I finally caught sight of the young man in front of us. Mainly, because Joe was impressed he was there...and because he was grousing about his "ensemble". It happened this young man was handsome, had a hip haircut, and winning smile. To be sure, some Saks dresser saw a perfect "Man"A-Quinn. In reality, he was horrified. They'd given him...a manpurse. Now any old manpurse is bad enough. But A) putting a man-purse on a hockey player is damn funny. And B) having it be a man-purse that is white, with black piping and a black strap (not distressed brown leather - something remotely manly...), is so funny it hurts. This is where my I-don't-get-impressed-by-anyone thing kind of came to haunt me. I couldn't resist...I had to tease. To keep quiet...well, it would have been criminal.





The conversation went something like, "You know, you really could work that purse. I mean, c'mon...sell it, honey. Oh you can do it..." (you can guess my inflections) Answ: "I know. I should. (big grin) Nah, I don't think I can do it." Me; "Oh puh-leeese? Seriously, we'll pay you to go strut that thang. C'mon, I bet we can get these guys to ante-up!" It went back and forth like that for a couple of minutes, when I realized I'd never even been introduced to this guy! I finally said, "I'm so sorry, I've never even met you and I'm being ornery." His answer was a grin, and "No, don't worry - I have a purse, I deserve it."





About that time, the alarm went off again. As he was begging the universe for it to be his "purse", a clerk came to check the bag. Sure enough, Victory! The purse was the offending object. As the clerk took it away to remove the security tag, the player was hoping she'd "lose" it. I did try to redeem my earlier finkiness - and offered him my ample rear-end to hide behind if the lady brought the purse back. He declined the offer, but managed another grin as the much-aligned bag was returned to him. Poor fellow...I at least wished for photographic failure to happen as he pranced his purse down the runway. Only time will tell if the universe decided to smile on him...





As for Avalon, she was a bit put-out having to watch Dan and Kim chat with another hero. That is, until she met her new "team", Ole-Kristian and his lovely partner Guro. We couldn't have asked for kinder, gentler people. Avalon, the great man-hater, instantly warmed up to Ole. And again, I was shocked to meet a hockey player with a heart of gold. These guys seriously are mis-represented! Guro was not only model-beautiful, she was as sincere and lovely as Kim had been. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to be so surprised. At our first game, I had been impressed that the players were nice enough to "fake" sincerity around our kids. I'm so ashamed, and yet proud to report how wrong I was. These men, and the women they love, are truly committed to our children. They are warm, caring, thoughtful people that I'm proud to say I've met. I could care less about their profession, its their hearts I'm in awe of.





After the second walk, Ole and Guro surprised me by asking more questions about Avalon's diagnosis and prognosis. Ole had even recognized a publicity photo of Avalon. The photo was when she was barely two, and bald from chemo. She looks quite different, so it was impressive that he searched her out - and took the time to ask. Apparantly, I wasn't the only one they touched...Avalon has added the two of them to her "who loves me" list. She's insisted she get to make pictures for Ole now too. That's pretty high praise - we have to "convince" her to make pictures for Jody - she tells us "He's a nice guy, but I really love Danny." To ask to be allowed to make pictures for Ole...well, he must have seriously impressed her. Poor man, I'm not sure he's ready for a pint-sized stalker...





The last funny of the night, has to return our focus to our family hero, Dan. As I chatted with people backstage, I thought my hubby and daughter #1 had retrieved Avalon. Next thing I know, here comes hubby, sans children. When I ask, "Where are the girls?" The answer? "I don't know, I thought you had them." Hmmmm, that's interesting. It didn't take long, or many inquiries, to find out that a certain hockey player had been spotted trotting off with them. (their relationship is legendary - everyone watches them because they think Avalon's hero-worship is cute) No problem, we'd pretty much deduced the obvious on our own. We spent the remainder of the evening kid-free, as the world's best baby-sitter entertained our wee-one. I mean think about it, who better to protect your kids than hockey players?! Heaven help the mortal who dares to anger him. Personally, I'm crossing my eyeballs, fingers, and toe hairs hoping Dan sticks around through the dating years...he could save me many sleepless nights! I can't possibly think of a better threat to some wayward teen...





The evening ended with many hugs and thank you's to Guro, Kim, Mandy Shelly, and various Foundation staff and supporters. Its hard to feel like you ever get to thank them enough. The players, their wives and girlfriends, and generous benefactors donate countless hours to help raise funds for not only our local Children's Hospital, but also for national pediatric cancer research organizations. Most of them don't have children, and none of them have been touched by pediatric cancer. They choose to selflessly love and work for our children. How can you ever say "Thank You" enough for that?!





For my part, I will spend this weekend writing thank yous and mailing little girl drawings. For Avalon? My guess is, she'll keep on stalking. Except now, she's added a new hockey victim to her roster, and two wonderful women to the list. While they will undoubtedly be hugged, talked about, followed, and buried with pictures of snakes and hearts...the three "newbies" will have to understand. They cannot hope to reach Danny status. He owns such a huge hunk of her heart...I fear I'm a distant second most days....





That's OK, I understand. I'd stalk him if I was 20 years younger.



As for the dieting diva? Well, to be perfectly honest, her starvation routine is in need of a total overhaul. I've taken the stress of this past month, and used as a collasally good excuse to return to bad behaviors and pathetic ways. I'm irritated with myself, and honked off at my ba donk a donk butt. (thank you, Jessica!) Am I giving up, surrendering, or quitting? NOPE. I'm just realizing, I have some mental sludge to flush out before I dive back in.

Its a journey... its a journey.... its a journey......

Let me live in my delusions for a few more days. Its nice here.

Alicia Hall, losing weight, and my mind, to raise awareness of pediatric cancer and the lives it touches
www.crazycancermom.com
A) Go Blue Jackets!
B) Please feel free to email me at alicia@crazycancermom.com
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