Baby...baby baby baby. I had a baby day...it was kind of fu-un. ;-)
Today was a friend's baby shower. I spent the morning working like a meth-crazed marathon runner, trying to finish my "assignment" for the shower. I should probably pause now to let you in on one of my giant life secrets. I procrastinate. I mean...if I could figure out how to procrastinate breathing...I probably would. I don't ever start anything on time. All billion and three college papers were written the morning they were due. Laundry is done when the skivvies drawer is empty. Floors are swept long after the dust bunnies should have been named. I...procrastinate.
Not that I didn't do the research for the papers. Not that I don't gather, sort, and carry the laundry downstairs. I do the prep work, I'm just really, really bad at the follow through. I tend to "follow" other things...until I'm "through" with any extra time. I...procrastinate.
For this particular shower, I was dad-blasted proud of myself. I not only purchased the first part of the gift two months ago, I quickly followed through with buying the parts I would be making. Then, to the shock and utter disbelief of my family, I actually immediately made the gifts I had purchased material for. You see, I am definitely in the running for the She-Who-Has-The-Most-Material-Wins award. I have a rather bad habit of buying fabric with grandiose notions of what it will become...and then looking at it, folded, for years. Oh yeah, did I happen to mention? I...procrastinate.
For once, I had conquered my procrastinating proclivity. I actually had the gift done, ready to go, weeks ahead of time. Sounds great, but the story doesn't end there. Rats. As one of many women who love this family, I was on a long list of people willing to help. As the only one on the list with 4 kids, they were kind and gave me the simple assignment of nametags. "Bee" nametags, to be exact. Something creative and fun. Not a problem, unless - you...procrastinate.
I came up with a killer idea (no bee pun intended there). I designed polar fleece bees, with the intention of embroidering guests names on them. Then, post shower, I would applique the bees onto a blanket as a shower memory quilt. Cute, huh? Fat chance. Did you somehow miss my previous paragraphs? I...procrastinate!
Back to today. Here I was, scissor-wielding wack-a-doo, cutting bee parts like a mass murderess. I cut, I glued, I swore from the third degree hot-glue burn on my middle finger, I cut, repeat... You get the general idea. With the exception of my damaged digit, all was going rather well - until I attempted to use the $65 hand-held embroidery machine purchased for said bees. In a word? Failure. Dismal, gut-wrenching, I-felt-like-a-giant-walking-boob failure. Fantastic.
Now my dreams of cutsie beedom, became nightmares of no-faced, no-named scary bee zombie thingies. Great. I caved and decided the only viable option was fabric paint. Easy enough - if your paint isn't from a former presidency and therefore about as easy to obtain as sucking an elephant through a garden hose. Not pretty. Thanks to Herculean efforts of Mondo the Super Hubby - we did finally manage to create some funky lookin' bees with names on their bellies. Problem was - paint said 72 hours to cure, we had 90 minutes. Stupid procrastination.
Super Hubby to the rescue! As I water blasted my frustrated self, he lovingly hair-dryered the offending bees. I stressed, he blew. I freaked when I couldn't find shoes and began winging things with no regard to life or limb - and he aired some more. I railed at myself and my short-comings, he heated with gusto. I lost my mind...he fixed my bees. Mondo scored MAJOR points. He saved my bees! Mondo does NOT procrastinate. Can't figure out how he hasn't killed me.
In my frenzy, I hadn't bothered to eat breakfast. No time, no interest in smelly eggs when heading into a hen-fest. As for lunch - torture, torture, torture. There were bowls of candy, bee-hive shaped cakes that reportedly tasted even better than they looked (and they were stinkin' CUTE), and be still my heart...Panera bagels. Sure, sure, there was pasta salad and chips and dip to torment me too - but they couldn't begin to compare. I mean...bagels.... Oh, and did I mention? There was cream cheese too, three kinds. Uh huh...it was there. Strawberry cream cheese. Oh, the agony................. (look at previous posts, you'll find the answer to what you're wondering)
To be fair, there were veggies and three separate fantastic salads that I could eat. I actually did fine diet-wise, I just wasn't happy about it. Stupid diet. Stupid strawberry cream cheese winking at me from between the stupid bagels.
Man, I wish I could find a way to procrastinate FAT.
Fishfarts.
- Alicia - your gonna-be-dreamin'-bagels-again Crazy Cancer Mom
www.crazycancermom.com
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2 comments:
I'm sure the bees were adorable. What would we do without our husbands? Quite some willpower you have, my dear, to be able to make it through the shower. You should be proud of yourself (again!).
Love,
Tammy
I think we must be sisters separated at birth! I have a dresser in my living room that holds material for all of those projects! I am taking a small break from sewing velcro onto felt circles, which will each bear a Brownie's name and will attach onto the felt flowers that have the other side of the velcro sewn on, but are not yet attached to the kaper chart which they will ultimately be part of. The first meeting? Tuesday night. How long have I had to do this? 3 weeks, not including the entire summer before! When did I start? Yesterday. I still need to cut a bunch of card stock circles for the meeting too. And I think there's something else I'm forgetting as well...
I'm glad you were able to have a mom's day out! I hope that bagels quit stalking your dreams soon. I am very proud of you for your will power and how much you are accomplishing!
Take care,
Sue (Rachel's mom)
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