Monday, September 24, 2007

September 23, 2007

Well, the universe conspired against me. I've gained weight back...lots...and it was dad-blasted fun! Hee hee hee.

As you may remember, my dear hubby tried his best for a fantastic 40th birthday. Problem was, he actually chose this year to shop early. (never before, possibly never again after this) Early would normally be commendable - except for the fact that he bought his dieting, carb-deprived wife a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory. Torture, pure unadulterated torture.

Of course, being the frugal femme fa tale I am, I simply had to go and use the fateful card. By arranging to go to lunch today, with my sister, I figured I had armed myself with a portion-limiting timeframe, and a voice-of-reason companion. Nerts on that! The lunch portions at Cheesecake Factory are megalomaniac in nature, and my sister is about the WORST voice-of-reason on the planet. She whole-heartedly embraces positive mental health exercises. Translation, she's an advocate for periodically chucking responsibility out the window and loudly singing Ce La Vie!

In all fairness, she tried to lead by example - and only ate a reasonable one or two pieces of the pre-food bread. However...she also didn't tackle me and threaten to beat me with a sourdough breadstick when I behaved like a carb-crazed basket-case. I embarrassingly scarfed up 6 or 7 butter drenched hunks of yeasty, wheat-laden loaves of death. And it was gooooooood..........

I mean, knowing that the first tiny taste would cause catastrophic diet dismemberment. I felt it was my duty, as a dieting diva, to fully explore the fall from grace. While I know a simple bite can halt any progress, I decided it was scientifically prudent to investigate what a complete annihilation of dieting protocol could do to a body. In that respect, I felt compelled to further my research by ordering a delectable pasta dish with mushrooms, chicken, and tomatoes - all swimming ever so beckoningly - in a white sauce. Being utterly committed to my dissertation, I had no choice but to also order the artichoke/spinach/hot cheese dip with chips as an appetizer. I mean, honestly, I couldn't leave out such an important step in my scientific method. (work with me, I'm on a "roll"...Ah haa haa haa) (yeah, I crack myself up)

There was, however, an enormous flaw in my research protocol. I forgot to factor in a "cheesecake allowance". Yet again, I found myself waddling out of the big CF - more stuffed than the common T-day turkey - and utterly, totally, devoid of cheesecake. I nearly wrote the mission off as a failure , then I remembered the multi-loaf assault at the beginning of the battle. Ultimately, I decided my research methods only ranked a "C", but my willingness to "suffer" for the cause, was undeniably "A" material.

Post Cheescake debacle, my chauffeur and I laboriously worked our stuffed selves through a few stores at the shopping center. We ogled furniture we couldn't afford, and clothing we can't currently fit a single boob in. I'm telling you - I lose this weight, I'm so going to enjoy dressing to embarrass my children! ("Geez, mo'om, do you have to dress like my friends?!) Oh yeah, I plan on making a nuisance of myself...

All too soon, we had to wing our way home to my waiting hubby, and his list of places he had to go. Or so...I'd been told.

In reality, we winged our way home to my 40th birthday Surprise Party! Wahooooo!

We walked in and there stood Daddy and the 4 minions, grinning like a pack of Cheshire cats, surrounded by decorations a go go. Then, one by one, people I love kept appearing from either side of the kitchen, each wearing a bigger grin than the next! Hee hee hee......

What followed was a whopping boatload of FUN! I opened rotten, ornery cards, received thoughtful, generous gifts, and withstood COPIOUS amounts of abuse about my recent arrival on the far side of the Hill. And in the interest of a dieting blog...I also ate cake, chips, nachos and cheese, and several sugar-free mini-cheesecakes. Oh yeah, I took my oath of investigation pretty damned serious. I decided it continued as long as my birthday "celebrations" did. (I know I'm delusional...I'm okay with it...)

In all, I had an absolutely PERFECT day. Friends made special trips to join us, my family turned themselves inside out to make it special and memorable, and my daughter's god-daddy even managed to make me teary by taking a personal day from work on Monday, to be able to come to the party and spend the night with us. I had the most amazing time I could have possibly hoped for, and it was worth every calorie eaten, and every ounce gained.

I suppose that's the lesson I learned today. My sister's refusal to body slam me, shows that my "baby" sister may have a better grip on life than her geriatric sibling. She knew the value of completely letting go and LIVING life today. No one can be perfect all the time. At least, no one should be perfect all the time. Its our flaws that make us human.

I let my metaphorical hair down today - and will inevitably see the scales go "up" as a result of it. But ahh....this time my wagon tipped for fun, instead of fear. I'll take a few bruises in the name of celebration any day.

Fish paste and turtle haste,
Alicia - the Crazy Cancer Mom - losing weight to raise awareness for pediatric cancer
http://www.crazycancermom.com/

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I suppose that's the lesson I learned today. My sister's refusal to body slam me, shows that my "baby" sister may have a better grip on life than her geriatric sibling. She knew the value of completely letting go and LIVING life today. No one can be perfect all the time. At least, no one should be perfect all the time. Its our flaws that make us human.

I let my metaphorical hair down today - and will inevitably see the scales go "up" as a result of it. But ahh....this time my wagon tipped for fun, instead of fear. I'll take a few bruises in the name of celebration any day.


Amen, sista! I'm so glad you had such a lovely birthday! And I'm glad you saw that it was okay to let your hair down (or down a great meal ;) ) in the name of fun

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Susan - you're still younger than me - Mueller

Anonymous said...

It's about time you acknowledged me as the wiser sister! ;)
Sunday was all about embracing the gifts of life - family, friends, fun and yes...food. Too much of life is about discipline and sacrifice, about being responsible and prudent in our choices. "Falling off the wagon" had it's mental health advantages and is in no way a reflection on your greater commitment. Sometimes a little respite from the battle gives you tools to keep fighting. If you need any other chocolate covered 'tools'...just let me know. ;) Glad you enjoyed the day.

Baz said...

Nice blog!

See you on
calabazablog.blogspot.com