September 4, 2007

Day 2 of my starvation quest, and I'm already having to admit to pathetic weakness.

No, I didn't scarf down an entire box of Girlscout Do-si-does or anything. But rats in fratz, having 4 kids and being "good" blows rather large goats! Sure, sure...mega stars with mega incomes can afford cooks, organic chutney, and separate dining rooms from their progeny. Middle-aged Super Moms don't fair nearly as well.

First there's breakfast.
Kid #3, "Mo-om!" Can I have grapes?" "Yes, sure."
Kid #2, "Mo-om! Can I have cereal?" (sugary cereal - purchased by her father)"Yeah, OK."
Kid #3 - again, "Mo-om!!! I want grapes." "I know, I'm coming."
Enter Kid #1 - who proceeds to get cereal for herself - completely ignoring that she even has siblings - much less starving ones.
Kid #4, "Aaaaahhhhh, Wahhhhhh" - translation, "I need food NOW!" (Kid #4 is 10 months old. )
Kid #3 - again..."Mo-om!!!!! I NEED grapes!!!"

Doesn't this sound conducive to a healthy, cooked and measured repast for mom? Yep, welcome to my world.

As for lunch:
Well, lunch was yet another Festival O' Children. My oldest daughter had a 5 hour long class at her computer school. Said school is over an hour away from home, so that meant that after my "restful" morning of feeding the masses, I got to clean the masses, then load them up for a road trip. While Child #1 nearly croaked of terminal boredom (just ask her, she's convinced), I got to entertain a 6 yo, 4 yo, and 10 mo old by walking endlessly through Halloween aisles and a pet store. Now the well-heeled, well-prepared suburban mom would have packed nutritous snacks in matching food luggage and eaten a balanced meal al fresco, surrounded by joyful progeny. Nope. We ate McDonalds, hiding in an air-conditioned car - dodging Heat Advisory September sweat and battling about whose Chicken McNuggets looked like a boot and whose were just blobby.

Then there's dinner: After a 1+ hour trip to the School of Torment, 5 hours spent milling through retail purgatory, a repeat visit to the pet store to re-ogle pudgy puppies, and 1+ trip home... Well, let's just say that when Kid #3 broached cereal as a dinner food, she quickly moved to Most Favored Child status. Oh yeah, this diet-with-a-family thing is going to be soooo easy.... (read thick, dripping sarcasm here)

Now that you have my list of excuses, here's my attempt at dieting for today.

Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1/4 C Cheddar cheese, 1/4 C onion, 1/4 C tomato, 1 mushroom, 1 huge C coffee - w/3 TBS creamer

Lunch: 2 McDonalds chicken wraps (OK, so a diet should never say Qty = 2. Bite me! You'll notice there is no Big Mac or fries listed here. Trust me, I was hungry and bitter about it!) 1 Diet Coke

Dinner: 4 oz imitation crabmeat, 1 Diet Coke, 1/2 C organic oat cereal (1/2 C - 140 cal w/o milk! Argghhhh)

Post dinner: Pure misery. Starvation. Bitter, bitter rantings about the size of my keester and how I got myself into this. Rantings promptly followed by Giant Cup of Coffee #2 for the day - to fuel my late night griping....

Exercise: Did you not read the actual post?! I shopped for 4 hours straight with a 20 lb baby in a backpack, lifting a 4yo in and out of the cart, hiking 200 miles through rough retail terrain. Should have been on a treadmill? Should have ridden a stationary bike? Lifted weights?

Bite me.